Girl Geek – Prologue: I Want A New Game!

“I Want a New Game” –posted on the blog of Girl Geek on [xxx date]

Note: the following is to be sung to the tune of ‘I Want a New Drug’ by Huey Lewis and the News

I want a new game. One that won’t make me bored. One that won’t make me roll my eyes or make me feel objectified!

I want a new game…one that won’t make me sick. One that won’t leave me bored. One that won’t make me nervous, wondering what to do. One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with…

Oh you get the picture and now that Huey Lewis and the News song is stuck in your head, too. Happy Throwback Thursday to you!

So, has anyone hear of any good new games on the horizon?

I’ve had it up to here with first person shooters (especially the male-oriented ones or the ones with chicks in hot pants) and I think I’ll go bonkers if I have to mine more ore in Skyrim. I’ve romanced my way through Dragon Age. What more is there?

I want a new game! It’s been a while and I’ve tinkered around in Azeroth with my night elf druid long enough. I need new worlds to explore. New life and new civilizations. It’s my own personal five-year mission!

I do have some hope. This brand new MMO RPG, Dragon Epoch, is in beta-testing. My roommate scored a beta account and he can invite just one person to join him. Guess who twisted his arm, uh, I mean, who won the charmingest roommate contest and scored that gig?

That’s right!  *Snoopy Dancing*

I got a new game!

I must admit, after studying some of the concept art that I’m a bit trepidatious about this endeavor. Yes, my dear female friends, the artwork features the dreaded lingerie-style chainmail bikinis… because nothing says “Hard core warrior woman” like a Victoria’s Secret-style push-up bra made in your favorite shades of stainless steel, bronze or shining chrome.  Insert Girl Geek eyeroll here.

The game could still redeem itself via its content. A good, self-respecting geek girl can forgive a lot when she’s presented with some good meaty game material to sink her pointed fangs into!

Yes, boys, that is a cue for you to back off the girly jokes and the sexist agenda. Girls can be just a rabid and excited about their game play as the other half of the human race who possess the dangly bits! And you heard it here first. Girl Geek will be beta-testing a new game and I will report back. I get my hands dirty so you don’t have to!

I just gotta wonder, however, when the boys who design these games will tire of playing out their sexual frustration in the form of more—equitable—clothing for the women. I mean, how about some male nudity counterparts? Can I please have my Viking Warrior wade into battle with his glistening abs and tight, loin-clothed ass out before the world for all to see?  Or is all that delicious manly goodness destined to be forever hidden from me underneath a breastplate? Where’s a hardcore geek girl supposed to score some tasty man candy? Please advise. And please get some game designers who have normal, healthy sex lives so they don’t have to put their fantasies on the screen featuring the scantily clad sex pots. Please and thank you!

So Girl Geek has an invitation to beta-test Dragon Epoch. Never fear, ladies. I’m going in—and I’m taking no prisoners!

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